Irani News

May 01 Christine Graham  
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In a statement today Supreme Leader Ali Notacrimk reponded to recent American agression with the following statement.

“The Americans think that they can simply roll into our villages, drop bombs on our holy places, and flash those smiles and all is forgiven. But they are very mistaken, we already have half their pilots out with various issues caused by their sinful ways, while ours with their vigilent prayers to Alah remain healthy and strong, indeed they re-appear back whole and unharmed every 18 hours a blessing from …. oh hang on I’m being told that is now once a day.. Still a grand blessing from Alah and a miricle in and of itself. Their aircraft fixed and our scientists have worked out how to manipulate space and time.. allowing us to ground hog certain things.

Worry not our citizens of Lars and other cities, you are not forgotten. The heathen will be pushed from our lands, and if they are not. then the great fires of purification will remove their taint forever.”

When asked if the ‘Great Fires of Purification’ were a weapon that is forbidden to be used by the one who arbiters the war, the Supreme Leader refused to answer.. only commenting that ‘If systems can not handle one little explosion over Dubi….. then perhaps they shouldn’t be in the game’.

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