Coalition Forces Take Jenah

Jul 17 Christine Graham  
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It was announced a short while ago that the Coalition of anti-Irani nations have pushed forwards hard this morning through the valley of death and into the Irani town of Jenah, local sources have announced that M1A2 tanks rolling through the streets played this over loudspeakers.

“People of Iran, we the coalition against Irani Aggression who have bombed your cities, destroyed your buildings, blown up tanks beside your houses and crashed our planes into your roofs, hereby demand that you all now surrender and convert to democracy and do as your told. The Evil of the previous regime is over”.

This message was followed by an almost immediate response from the Irani general on location claiming that while the western forces may have taken their women and think they have won the Irani people would never surrender.

The local commander on site for the coalition forces General Dick Tator made the following statement.

“Look, you just can’t reason with the likes of some of them and trust me I’ve tried. I’ve demanded that they all convert to democracy and do as their told, but they are just too damned stubborn. I mean we’ve delivered their kids’ thousands of non-exploded CBU rounds as presents, helped the local housing industry by blowing up hundreds of possibly century-plus old buildings that all needed renovating anyway and I mean we keep giving them plenty of aviation-fueled bonfires to keep warm at, every time a helicopter drops. They’re just so damned ungrateful for the freedom we are delivering them, but like it or not we will deliver it”.

Rumours from the area claim that Irani forces continue to harass coalition forces even as they dig in with forward airbases for a push towards the north.

from Persia, this is Kitty Purrs Alot.

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