CNN Report Persian Gul

May 01 Christine Graham  
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Reports are coming in today of a major Irani Counter Offensive, that has so far retaken Qeshm and Kish Island with rumors of a push for the disputed Gulf islands in the works, Irani Diplomats have stressed to the United Nations that they are not the agressors in this conflict but the ones whom where attacked unprovoked by the Coalition and have again requested that Sanctions be put in place against the US and its allies.

General Barksalov the Russian Advisor to the region was reported as saying that this entire conflict is simply an ego trip for Rump and his Cat advisors, going as far as to suggest that he has proof that they have been hiring Private Military Contractors or as he put it filthy Mercs to do their dirty work. When a reporter questioned his own use of ‘PMCs’ the general growled and barked a lot claiming that due to limited resources it was the only viable option to replace lost pilots.

Admiral Kosh’Ne’Cat was not avalible for comment at this time, his aides report that he was busy sunning himself in a doorway.

From Persia this is Kitty Mousebiter.

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